


and every time you fall (follow me)

by laurmanis



Category: Fifth Harmony (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-27
Updated: 2016-12-27
Packaged: 2018-09-12 14:04:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9075058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laurmanis/pseuds/laurmanis
Summary: "Don't burn yourself out trying to keep others warm, Lo," Normani whispers, the lull of sleep all but overwhelming as she lays back against the soft pillows.
--
old vent fic





	

**Author's Note:**

> this is old but i need to post smth so enjoy i guess!

Thunder reigns the sky above, its disposition murky and morbidly gray. Rain pounds in unrelenting focus, blanketing the typically calm town in a maelstrom of liquid debris and mud. Distant footsteps battled against the slippery pavements, their owner's breathing ragged and strained, a series of  _splash splash splash_ against the antagonizing bellow from above. Her feet drenched, sore, and exasperated, Normani pants in intervals as she stops beneath a thick tree, one hand against the soaked tree and another treading through her wet hair. Catching her breathing, Normani quickly regains her composure and sprints again, the rain continuing to pound against her body as if it was a hammer.

She feels her phone vibrate through her small sack and curses internally, unconsciously speeding up her pace in order to reach her destination quickly. Her chest aches from lack of air and overuse, her legs maneuvering at a pace not even recognized by herself (and hell, she is the athletic one here.)

After what feels like hours, she finally reaches the darkened house, lightning flashing twice in the background and the rain growing more turbulent. Normani rushes under the deck covering, relinquishing a sigh of relief at the dry atmosphere. She quickly wraps her matted hair in a crisp ponytail and immediately unzips the phone from her sack. 

Pressing the front button gently, she frowns as she witnesses the immense amount of texts flooding her notification center. She slides her slick fingers against the smooth screen almost instinctually, entering her passcode at record speed before opening the chat she's been watching ever since she left home. 

_(Well,_ she huffs, glaring at the still heavy rain, _at least before it started raining.)_

She has fourteen new messages and they are all from one person. Normani proceeds to ding the doorbell gently, reading through the messages simultaneously in case of any newer updates.

**_BESTEST Best Friend Lo: mani bear please please come over_ **

**_BESTEST Best Friend Lo: Mani answer please are you coming soon_ **

**_BESTEST Best Friend Lo: Mani mani mani_ **

Normani flinches at how many times Lauren repeated her name, requesting for her friend even if she was facing the raining waterfalls. Suddenly, the door swings open and Normani is dragged inside before she can even get a greeting out.

She's about to scold the Latina on her abrupt behavior before she felt a body clash into hers, their arms wrapped possessively around her waist, and wet tears re-drenching her shoulder.

Normani begins to stroke chocolate hair gingerly, kissing the top of her head and using her free hand to rub her shoulder soothingly. The wallowing girl in her arms hiccups lightly, her whole body shuttering, as if a single misstep will send her crashing to the floor.

Lauren was sometimes like this: like glass. She was so transparent and reflective, never choosing to harbor secrets or ploys; she was an open-book, with an open-mind and open heart, and to this day Normani was enamored by the compassion she always seemed to never run out of. But like glass, she is fragile; sensitive, aware, and perceptive of the world that manifests around her. Her eyes are of dazzling emeralds, and they see more than Normani can ever hope to make sense of.

But, Lauren is naive soul – nascent and immature – and though Normani warns her to watch where she places her love, she always seems to mistake greed for adoration. Normani realized quickly before they became friends that the younger Latina overcompensated; she distributes her heart in full portions only to get scraps in return. And she'll pick up the pieces with a timid _thank you_ because she's _Lauren_ and if Normani knew anything about her best friend is that she believes in the stars and alignments and that all good comes back to all that you put out.

(She believed in the philosophy too – it made sense and settled easily in her mind and correlated with her religion, even if she tended to disagree with some of its points.)

Especially the _If Im Nice Enough Even If the People are Assholes I'll be Okay blah blah blah_ bullshit that seems to be Lauren's mantra; the same mantra that is causing her to writhe and cry and _scream_ into her shoulders right now that Normani can nearly feel the agony coursing through her body. She cannot fully understand, but she can empathize, and she refuses to condone the pain the smaller girl was being subjected to right now.

"Lo, honey," Normani interjects, still soothing the tangled mess of brown hair in front of her, "let's go upstairs."

Lauren nods weakly, immobile from her position against Normani's shoulder. The older girl lets out a sympathetic sigh and begins to guide them up the wooden stairs, her arm wrapped protectively around the shaky girl's waist.

They're halfway up the climb when Normani hears the faint whimper, Lauren's voice raspy and despondent. "Why do they always disappear, Manibear."

"Who leaves, baby?" Normani frowns at the broken tone on Lauren's tongue, tightening her grip on the girl as they continue up.

"Everyone." Lauren huffs absently, tears stinging the corner of her eyes again; Normani feels her heart tearing and this isn't even the first time.

"I do so much, you know?" She chuckles bitterly, tears beginning to slide down her cheeks in drops. "I don't get it, I can't comprehend it." Lauren chokes when they reach the top of the stairs, Normani instantly soothing the troubled girl. "I just...I just want to fucking matter!"

Normani almost crashes, because Lauren turns to her then and the once radiant eyes that are filled to the brim with optimism and aspiration are drained to a dull gray – emerald vitality reduced to a monotone longing. She hiccups then and it makes Normani want to caress her so tight because of the way it shatters and breaks and _fuck_ how she is tired of her best friend getting thrown in the dust.

She hurries into Lauren's room and sits her on the bed, the distant Latina looking down at the floor and sniffing quietly. Normani intertwines their hands and allows the world to be silent for a second, her thumb caressing the calloused hands in an attempt to soothe away the demons inside Lauren's head.

She wishes she was able to protect Lauren entirely – from the plagues in her head and her own unmatched compassion.  She allows herself to be taken for granted, and Normani despises the people who constantly exploit her kindness. 

"Lauren."

She barely responds, a simple tilt of the head the only indication that she was listening. 

"Remember what I told you the day I met you."

"I know what you tell me is true, Mani but-"

Normani grips Lauren's hands tightly, forcing them to her chest and causing the Latina to look at her eye to eye. "No, they're using you, mama. That isn't right, it never is and nothing they say can justify it."

Lauren looks away, smiling cynically to herself. "Maybe it's because I'm disposable at bes-"

"Who would ever say that about you?!" Normani hisses, hot tears flowing down her cheeks and teeth grit to the point of breaking.

"Everyone! Everyone Normani!" Lauren retorts caustically, standing and facing Normani in a furious anguish that sent her reeling back. "They leave. They leave and come back and have the _audacity_ to admit that they _missed_ me to pull me back in because I'm a fucking moron who falls for it _everytime_." Normani breaks as Lauren pauses, the tears beginning to drop in rivers as each sentence falls from her mouth. "And they...t-they make me feel _loved_ and cherished and so _FUCKING_ important until they find someone better or more interesting or not emotionally fucking disparate!" She sits down then, voice collapsing and hoarse, her eyes a turbulent gray and swirling in misery. "Maybe if I was actually the good person I believe to be, would they actually appreciate me? Would they, Mani?" Normani remains silent, hand slowly reworking itself into Lauren's trembling hand.

"Mani, would you forget about me too?"

Normani crashes her lips into Lauren's then, pulling her close and caressing both her cheeks delicately in her ginger hands. She feels Lauren's hot tears against her hands, pulling apart to connect with her eyes directly before wrapping her arms around her shoulders in a hug.

"How could I forget the girl with eyes that embody nature and the heart of gold." Normani snorts, sneaking a kiss against Lauren's ear and feeling the girl sniff beside her. "You are far more reaching and inspirational and just," she struggles to pinpoint words, wanting to make sure Lauren _knew_ just how wonderful and important she _is_ , "absolutely admirable and necessary and I cannot stand you being convinced otherwise."

They pull apart then and Normani notices tiny sparks in Lauren's eyes that make her smile inwardly – her words had sunk through.

Lauren doesn't really respond to her proclamation, but Normani is more than satisfied when she provides a timid smile and leans in to recapture their lips. 

Normani knows she cannot dispel her doubts entirely, but she'll happily make it easier for girl to breathe easier each day.

They spend the night trying to laugh and smile and cuddle the intrusive thoughts away, until Lauren is fast asleep against Normani's chest and snores so softly that her heart aches with adoration.

"Don't burn yourself out trying to keep others warm, Lo," Normani whispers, the lull of sleep all but overwhelming as she lays back against the soft pillows.

_Nobody is worthy of your golden flame that makes you wondrous._

**Author's Note:**

> i reposted this bc i semi-like the writin......but yeah nothinf more than a vent fic for my personal satisfaction and coping lol. hope you enjoy im sorry i am in a bad space mentally rn. thank u reading


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